Struggling

I don't talk much about how much of a fight we have been through to get to where we are today with Wyatt. A friend posted a song on her Facebook and it drove me to really write this and finally put this into words. Constantly not knowing what is going on with Wyatt is hard, I don't mean algebra hard, I mean I have this constant fear that we will loose him. In December of 2010 we almost did due to malnutrition and dehydration and I will NEVER forget that. I will never forget seeing my son laying in my husbands arms not even able to hold his head up.




And as I sit here remembering those days, I am reminded that he is here and happy (mostly). He is a fighter, he fights every day to make his way through the world and he does it with this amazing determination. He is amazing!

The reason this is sort of coming to a head tonight is we received some news and though I suspected both pieces of the news it still was not easy to handle at all. Wyatt was diagnosed Autistic on Thursday. In a way I am glad we got the diagnosis because he will continue to receive services he needs to keep him developing, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and the 2 most amazing things we have Early Headstart and his DSI. But at the same time I fear the social stigma this places on him. He will have the word "autistic" hanging over him the rest of his life! I worry what that means for him in school, wonder if he's going to go to college, get a job, move out... Just live a normal life. The alternative would be fine as well, I don't mind it but I worry about the quality of his life and it sits heavy.

The other reason is Finley my 6 month old is now following Wyatt's growth curve and has been diagnosed failure to thrive, the ped has requested genetic testing to be done. Now I am not too concerned as we have a lot more options with Finley then we did with Wyatt. I am able to add rice cereal, and olive oil to his foods to help get him gaining and he seems to be doing well with it! But again I worry, will he follow his brother completely or will us having gone through this once already make it easier for us to navigate him through this bumpy road and avoid what happened to Wyatt? Just some thing rattling in my head, all thanks to a song.

We are hanging in there, we are strong, my boys are determined!

Roo is doing amazing in School! She loves it her teachers love her, she is making friends and her behavior is better, albeit she is having sleeping issues again but we are working on adjusting her sleep schedule. She is learning to write her name already at 4, and is just so smart it's hard to keep up with her most days! I cannot wait to see her grow into her energy a bit more and it turn more from being destructive to creative!

I will post pictures of Wyatt in his new swing soon, we are still trying to figure out the best way to put it up!

First Night Back

After almost a week in the hospital Wyatt is not comfortable home. Sleeping very light, panicking every time one of us leaves the room, irritable, and just all around overwhelmed. We have a busy day of catching up on appointments tomorrow and I am going to make it to the store to pick up more poly pellets to finish Wyatt's weighted blanket.

Had one of those moments where everything just seemed so perfect this evening. Was laying in bed with the baby cuddle up to me, my husband next to me, Riley in bed asleep, and Wyatt in his bed asleep; And I realized this is the first time we have all been asleep in the same place in a few weeks. It was an amazing feeling of warmth. It made this entire week of stress, worry, and doubt just disappear. Then Wyatt woke in a panic, but for a few amazing moments everything was perfect.

I do think he is finally settled for the night, so that at least is a relief. Now I am working on getting my brain to unwind. His auction ends at midnight tonight and we are shy about a dozen raffle tickets to get something from that. So please check it out, share it with your friends and family, bid, donate, whatever you would like to do or feel comfortable doing! Wyatt's Auction!

Wyatt's Auction

Wyatt is in the hospital again, seems like each time is more serious than the last. He hasn't tolerated his formula in over a week. They decided today to switch him from Neocate Jr to Elecare Jr. and started him at half strength. He began having issues with it at about 8pm they stopped it called the doc. He said to let Wyatt rest for an hour, decrease the rate and see how he does. He seems to be handling 25ml an hour way better than 50 but it's not enough to sustain him. Hoping to see GI in the morning.

This Auction started out as just a way to get help with meals and gas while we were here from some local friends, wahms, and a few Vendor friends. It EXPLODED! I mean literally! People have been donating services, items, products, offering anything and everything they can! We have photographers, Bakers, tutus, WAHM products, Cloth Diapers, and now to top off the list Scentsy and a Thirty-One Raffle!!!

Right now I feel so much love is out there for my little boy and its an amazing thing! I just wanted to thank EVERYONE who is helping even if all you do is share the auction or add your friends.

You can find the Auction here